Posts Tagged ‘Ten Commandments


The Real Ten Commandments

{Updated with an additional link.}

The Ten Commandments of GodStone‘ just didn’t appeal to most folks. Ohh, maybe that’s putting it a bit too diplomatically. Even my friends (yes, there are some) wouldn’t read it. That is, they wouldn’t admit to reading it. I gave my Pastor a copy, and he never had time to read it. For a year. So, I get it – folks don’t like the concept of re-writing The Big Ten. Or maybe they detected a degree of hubris in the title. Gee, it is my version – why not an eponymous title?

Some people simply could have been satisfied with the Bible’s original re-write: it’s either Exodus 20:2-17 or Deuteronomy 5:6-21. Don’t ask me which was first, much less which is closer to being ‘original’. And do not ask me to stick with exactly ten (10, diez, dix) items for my next version. If the Bible can have sundry versions, with miscellaneous numbers of specific shalts and shalt nots, then I can also.

A n d  h e r e  i t  i s .

We usually discuss religious doctrine (I am herein concentrating on my heritage of Christianity) in terms of its official scriptures and their formal interpretations. It’s time to look at the practical reality of Christianity. The following is The Real Ten Commandments – the rules that certain Christians (Lord bless the many for whom this does not apply) actually hold sacred. Well, sacred for application to others, if not for themselves. I also retained some of The Original’s sticky bits. You might want to follow along with one of the Original versions (some folks might be sufficiently lax to think that I am fabricating things), but a more general knowledge of the Bible and Christian behavior is most pertinent.

  1. God is a jealous, spiteful, vengeful god. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
  2. Thou shalt not make idols. Building oversized mansions and driving overpowered cars doesn’t count.
  3. Thou shalt not worship the idols that you make. If you do, you’ll probably get away with it, but your kids will get screwed.
  4. If you love Me, a thousand generations will have it easy. If any of them crosses me, the deal’s off.
  5. Thou shalt not use the name of God in vain. If you can get some profit or manipulate someone by doing so, you’re golden.
  6. Observe the Sabbath Day, or whatever day that you feel like substituting, and keep it holy so the football game or round of golf will be guilt-free fun.
  7. For six days thou shalt labor, since you’re gonna count Saturday fishing as work. You, your family, visitors, livestock, and male and female slaves shall take it easy. You can decide whether the hermaphrodite slaves can participate.
  8. It was work for the Lord to create everthin’ in six days, so He rested on the seventh day and his slaves had better rest, too. They should consider it practice for Jubilee. They’ll get to return to the foreign country from which I permitted you to kidnap them. The wives which you took in conquest just get the Sabbath, not the Jubilee.
  9. Honor thy Father and thy Mother so that your brother or sister won’t take the inheritance that you so richly deserve.
  10. Thou shalt not kill unless the person deserves it or a Christian Governor or President says ‘it’s ok’. You shall satisfy your blood thirst with executions and unprovoked wars.
  11. Thou shalt not commit adultery, for serial monogamy is sufficient and wholly acceptable to thy brethren. Thou shalt also not divorce, unless a TV preacher says that it’s ok because your wife has Alzheimer’s.
  12. Thou shalt not steal, for connivance and manipulation will serve as well without the appearance of criminality.
  13. Thou shalt not lie about your neighbor, for gossip is equally effective.
  14. Thou shalt not desire thy neighbor’s goodies, or thy neighbor’s wife, or livestock, or male or female slave. As before, you can figure out what to do with hermaphrodite slaves. Your neighbor’s husband, and anyone else not proscribed, is fair game.
  15. Thou shalt not permit a woman, or anyone acting in a woman’s behalf, to decide her own sexual or reproductive behavior. Women shall know their place.
  16. Thou shalt not suffer the uninsured to live, or at least to live without suffering, for the uninsured and those not self-sufficient have not My favor.
  17. A man shalt not lie down with another man. Thou shalt interpret and extend this injunction in any way that suits your thoughts and fears. But lesbians are pleasing in My sight, and probably in yours, too.
  18. These Commandments shalt be sacred and inviolable until the Lord establishes a New Covenant. Thereafter, thou shalt enforce these Commandments selectively, as it pleases you. Definitely ignore all that Levitical stuff, like avoiding mixing nylon and cotton, unless it suits your purpose. Just don’t get carried away, like Thomas Jefferson did.

All in all, I do prefer Jesus’ answer regarding the two greatest Commandments. May it be so with you.


The Ten Commandments of GodStone

Sunday, November 15, 2009 at 8:18pm

The Church of GodStone

Ten Commandments
of GodStone


Commandments by number, with comments and corollaries

Commandment I

Thou shalt maintain deference for the Holy One of GodStone,
Who are infinitely greater than mere mortals.

— Corollary 1 —
Knowledge of the Holy One is unattainable by the limited intelligence and character of mortals.
Dogmatic assertions of knowledge of the Will of the Holy One demonstrate this truth.

— Sub-Corollary A —
The Holy One are unknowably many, for She resides with Her Paramore for the Completion of Sameness,
and the Paramore is that which is All – Beginning, Eternity, and Ending – for the Holy One.

— Sub-Corollary B —
Understanding of each and all Commandments, including Commandment I, is subject to Commandment I.

— Corollary 2 —
In worship, mortals presume to have knowledge of the Holy One
and Their relationship to deities greater than mere mortals.
Hence, they may not worship any other than Holy One of GodStone,
nor may they disparage the forms of worship by those who do not worship Them.

— Corollary 3 —
No mortal can truly know Her will or act as Their proxy, hence,
claims on, from, or to the Authority of the Holy One, are void.

— Sub-Corollary A —
Judgement is Theirs, sayeth the Holy One; judge only as you have judged yourself.

 Commandment II

Thou shalt not damage anything indiscriminately,
that thine emotional energy may be directed toward productive ends.

— Corollary 1 —
Usurpation is arrogance, so do not damage anything which isn’t yours.

— Sub-Corollary A —
Do not damage anything at the behest of the owner,
lest you become a proxy for their violation of Commandment II.

— Sub-Corollary B —
That which has no owner is owned by all mortals, so do not damage it.

— Corollary 2 —
The value of your fellow mortals is never less than your own, so you may not kill or damage them.

— Sub-Corollary A —
You have value to the Holy One, so do not damage yourself.

 Commandment III

Thou shalt devote some small time to the Holy One,
and a much greater time to one’s own pleasure and improvement,
and a still greater time to that which benefits other mortals,
for only in this manner may the Holy One be granted eminence.

Commandment IV

Thou shalt be productive,
for the needs of mortals are many and great, and the time granted to serve those needs is transient.

Commandment V

Thou shalt have affection for thy mortal family and for steadfast friends,
for mortals will die like flowers in a desert without giving and receiving from each other.

— Corollary 1 —
Those who reared you from infancy have freely given you that which you could not have given yourself,
so reserve greatest affection for them.

 Commandment VI

Thou shalt not steal.

— Corollary 1 —
Theft damages others and yourself and diverts others and yourself from productive pursuits.
Do not take another mortal’s possession by stealth or by subterfuge,
nor usurp their relationship with another.

 Commandment VII

Thou shalt not contemplate the theft of another mortal’s possession,
for neither the Holy One nor thine own self is deceived.

Commandment VIII

Thou shalt not be hypocritical.

— Corollary 1 —
The Commandments are One.
You may not persist in the presumed observation of a Commandment by the violation of another Commandment.

— Corollary 2 —
It is easy to rationalize contradictions to the direct meaning of the Commandments.
You may not grant the observation of rituals a priority over serving the Holy One, or oneself, or other mortals.

— Sub-Corollary A —
Such rationalisation and self-delusion is the inherent and errant guide of mortals,
from which all violations of the Commandments devolve.
You will learn and practice critical and skeptical thought.

— Corollary 3 —
Truth destroys hypocrisy.
You must candidly and unequivocably acknowledge your deficiencies and errors.

 Commandment IX

Thou shalt establish means by which thou may adhere to these Commandments,
for obedience is the harvest from a planting of deliberate self-control.

Commandment X

Thou shalt not be invariably literal.

— Corollary 1 —
Dogma is the converse of critical thought and skepticism.
You may not be dogmatic, except in observing Commandment VIII.

— Sub-corollary A —
These Commandments are an exemplar of a contradiction,
so you may not regard the Ten Commandments of GodStone
as being immutably or incontrovertibly ten in number.
They are all One.


Premise: A viable religion may be formed from the gaps, either overt or effective, in existing religions.
A viable religion may seek to establish directly those things which existing religions indirectly establish
or to which they merely allude.

~ ~ ~ Copyright 2009-2010 James R. Stone ~ ~ ~

♥ Help for Haiti ♥


Basic Understanding

A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.
- Edward R. Murrow

Intellectual Property Notice

All original material Copyright James R. Stone 2010, except where specifically noted. Some images licensed under Creative Commons, or GNU Free Documentation License, or unlicensed and public domain.

More About . . .

I use Wrinkled brand skin conditioner to keep that worldly-wise, I-have-put-up-with-more-crap-than-you-can-dish-out, old-codger look.

You don't want to ask
about my cologne.

America Held Hostage

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 23 other followers