All quantities are indefinite, to be determined by the whims of hunger.
You will need twice as much as it seems you will need – spinach becomes more precious by wilting.
Eggs – Grade A
Butter – the real thing
Salt – refined
White pepper – freshly-ground
Worcestireshire Sauce – the real stuff, like Lea & Perrins
Beer – Samuel Adams Coastal Wheat
Chill the beer!
The Little Red-Haired Girl recommends this particular beer, and it is, indeed, dandy with this Splatter.
Rinse the spinach & pat it dry with paper towels.
Snap off the stems & either let them play with the yard trimmings in the compost or feed them to your gerbils.
Chop Spam into nice little sticks of spiced yumminess.
Fry the Spam sticks on medium-high heat in a non-stick pan. A smidgen of butter helps the sizzle to reach from end-to-end of each exotic morsel. The sticks should become glazed to a darker hue and a more intense flavor.
Add some butter and let it just finish melting, then . . .
Toss the spinach onto the Spam and swirl it over the heat. Watch for its color to intensify as it wilts.
Crack eggs onto the pile of Spamach.
Swirl the eggs & Spamach together to make a happy collaboration of whites, greens, browns, and yellows – a Splatter.
Insinuate white pepper and salt into the Splatter and stir a bit more.
Take the pan off of the heat when the whites & yellows are as runny or firm as you like.
Turn the stove off ! (Come on, now – you know someone would have forgotten if I hadn’t included that.)
Surprise the Splatter with a visit from Mr. Worcestireshire Sauce.
Grab the beer and a fork.
Open the beer (ok, that was a little superfluous) and start eating the yummy stuff right out of the pan, while you are standing at the stove. Don’t imagine that you can take time to find your easy chair or a dining table! This is best eaten asap. It will be gone and dancing happily in your tummy before the beer is half empty.
Escort the last half of the beer to that easy chair and share it with your memories of the 75 seconds of gustatory glee that just transpired.