22
Feb
10

Jim is a Subversive Agent

It is my duty as a citizen to comply with both the letter and the spirit of all the laws of our great nation. The agents of temporal power have been granted authority by the power of the One Authority*, to whom we must all answer.   

To that end, I have decided that I must register as a Subversive Agent, before becoming technically qualified (SECTION 23-29-60**) according to the South Carolina Code of Laws.    

*She is the Beloved Oprah.

**The specific language in the Code is: Title 23 – Law Enforcement and Public Safety,
CHAPTER 29 SUBVERSIVE ACTIVITIES REGISTRATION ACT, SECTION 23-29-10 to SECTION 23-29-90.

Sarcasm Alert Parody Alert Sarcasm Alert Parody Alert Sarcasm Alert  {click on form}   


“Do you or your organization directly or indirectly advocate, advise, teach or practice the duty or necessity of controlling, seizing or overthrowing the government of the United States, the state of South Carolina or any political division thereof?”
                                    [ ]Yes      [ ]No   

Reaaallly. It is illegal to advocate the VIOLENT overthrow of the U.S. government. It is standard politics to “control” or “seize” or even “overthrow” the gubmunt – peaceably. The form is a bit more hyperbolic than the law is.    

Where do folks like these (SC legislators) come from? Do they reaaaallly want to start chasing all the Teabaggers and making them REGISTER AS SUBVERSIVES, and fining some of them $25,000 and imprisoning them for 10 YEARS? Why aren’t the Teabaggers responding? This law draws a bulls-eye on them, just like it targets the vast numbers of Islamic Fascist Terrorists who reside in South Carolina.

Hey! Get This . . .  SECTION 23-29-30, ‘Effect on freedom of press or speech’, says that the law does not apply to “freedom of the press or of speech“. It only applies, SECTION 23-29-20, to folks who “advocates, advises, teaches or practices” whatever, or to “”Business” includes, but is not limited to, speaking engagements.“.

                                       Oh.     

                 No problem then.    

Nevermind.    

south carolina assholes   

REFERENCES
The Law
The Form
The Story
“If you are a person who tries to write funny things for a living,
South Carolina is like a fire hose of comedy . . .”

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All original material Copyright James R. Stone 2010, except where specifically noted. Some images licensed under Creative Commons, or GNU Free Documentation License, or unlicensed and public domain.

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